Randomness...

I have no idea where any of this came from..lol, just thought I'd put it up. It is three separate things......

*I can’t believe this day. Its like no other. Its colors paint a picture that I would never have believed. Tears fell that day and my screams were louder than anything I had ever imagined could come out of me, out of my soul. Blues splash across my eyes and I can’t see anymore. I am running blindly and I can feel it creeping up on me. The blackness of his soul. His breath hot on my neck. I could feel it deep in my body, making everything inside of me crunch up into a ball. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I ran. I ran faster than ever before in my life. I had to escape this day. The dark gray day.


*What if he held on too tight. What if I could never ever again see the sunshine dancing off his face? Can he hear me? Can he sense what I’m feeling? How can I let this go when it feels so right in my heart? Will this ever come to be? Him and me?

*Emotions run deep this time of day. The days work is almost over and it seems like one can’t take even one more thing. Drained. We yell, we scream, and we fight for this day. Its not over. So much left yet to do.

Looking

I look
Everywhere.
Under rocks
Up in trees.
Its nowhere to be found.
I sigh.
I scream.
Desperation.
I shake my head.
Side to side.
Side to side.

untitled 1

It used to be mine.
It was given to me…
I didn’t understand how I was to care for it.
Nobody taught me.
It just never really seemed to be a part of me.
Time went by and at some point…
It was nobodies responsibility but mine.
Somehow, I had learned to separate myself from it.
In my mind it was not mine…
It has to be someone else’s.
I can’t understand it.
It doesn’t have anything to do with me.
Not the real me.
Moments of clarity
When the awesomeness of the responsibility
Sets in.
The time that was wasted looking the other way.
The time that was wasted not living up to dreams.
Time that was wasted…..
Knowing,
That now I have the opportunity
To take this thing,
And make it better…
Is awesome.
But bittersweet.
Somehow the knowing,
That it will never be as wonderful
As it could have been.
Better, but not the same.
Never the same
As it could have been…